In my previous talk I referred to a class wherein there was a great discrepancy between the grades I gave and the grades they gave. I felt terrible after that class -- and during that class I lost my temper. I heard myself getting angry and I tried to control my voice. No, I did not scream, I "firm voiced" them as one of my sons said when I claimed I never yelled at them.
I was overtired -- I had just finished grading forty papers in a day and a half -- and I know that part of the reason I lost my temper was simply that I was overtired. But a teacher should not lose his temper and I felt very, very bad about losing my temper. This was only the second time in 30 years of teaching that I lost my temper in class. The last time it caused me to lose the respect of the class. I never again regained their respect. That was one of the worst classes I ever taught. The evaluations of me were among the lowest I ever received and I understood why.
There is no need for a teacher to lose his temper. He is already the person in charge. He does not need to raise his voice to gain attention. Did I raise my voice and grow angry because I was wrong about my evaluation of their work? I felt their work was not college level work. One paper described the four seasons: winter has snow, fall has lovely leaves, spring has showers, in summer people go to the beach. Of course I am, in part, right -- but the paper was well organized, descriptive. The class wanted to give it an A. I wanted to give it a C.
Maybe I am right, but in part, they are right. There were no grammatical errors, it was decently organized. So what if the description is predictable, pedestrian.
It is all in the way what is done, is done. Calling it high school work, screaming about papers that are barely a page and a half long -- is simply going about it the wrong way. Don't assert. Don't demand. In a calm way, a teacher must make them see that below par work must be brought up a notch. We must make students understand that those few who exert effort and produce decent or excellent work must be rewarded in one way--and lesser work must be given a lower grade.
We are back to grading. I hate to grade. The process made me lose my temper in front of my students. I hate to grade, and yet I am locked into a system that has hired me to grade, and since I play by those rules I do, indeed, wield grades as a way to prod & punish my students.
One final word. I told a friend I lost my temper in front of a class. He listened sympathetically and finally he said: "Well maybe the class will learn from this that you are human." I thanked him. There is always a lesson to learn. Teachers are not God, though they wield God-like power. I think all my students already know that, but if they did not know it before, they do now.
They will receive this very talk you are listening to, and they will receive an apology from me. I was overtired; I did something I should not have done. And if you did not know before , dear students, perhaps now you do. Teachers are fallible human beings. As Alfred North Whitehead said: "A teacher is just one more ignorant man thinking."
Copyright © 2004 Henry Morgenstein