I Think Two Million

I am reading what must be one of the funniest articles I've read in a long time--and I'm not sure it is meant to be funny--and yet I sense the author knew what he was doing.  The article appeared in The New Yorker: “Colombian Gold,” by Frederic Dannen.

Of course it is about drugs--cocaine to be specific--and here's a line from the article:"  "The drug cartels have an unusual problem--they simply make too much money--according to Drug  Administration estimates...25 billion dollars a year."  The drug cartel's problem is that it must deposit this illegal money into American banks,  I won't explain how they do that, but the article is about a group that has tried to stop them and, later in the article they say that in the first two years this group has seized over sixty million dollars in cash and assets.  I laughed out loud!  Sixty million dollars--out of perhaps 25 billion a year?  Good grief: that's petty cash.

One man who was caught immediately admitted that there was cash all over the house.  To quote the article:  "he says there's money everywhere, and say's it's about two million.  By the time we're done counting it, it's three million two hundred thousand dollars.  He was off by over a million."

What can one say after such staggering figures.  You got money around the house?  Yea.  Maybe two million.  How about three million?  If you say so.  As the detective being interviewed in this article said:  "let's face it.  For me to go bad it would have to be over ten billion dollars, because their's so much out there."

I burst out laughing after I read the preceding line: Ten billion dollars.  I know he is exaggerating, but he does live in a bizarre world--and it is a world we have created.

Can't we see the handwriting on the wall?  Can't we see what stares us in the face?  Twenty five billion dollars a year!  That is what Americans are shipping out to one drug cartel in one small part of the world.  Talk about a trade deficit!  Talk about a stupid approach to the maintaining of a balanced budget.

Good grief: LEGALIZE DRUGS so we can get our cut of the pie.  If Americans want to put stuff up their nose, let them put AMERICAN stuff up their nose--or stuff that has been proplerly taxed-inspected by Americans.

Let's make "Made in the U.S.A." a label on all good drugs.

Am I nuts?  No more nuts that the article I am reading.  They--whoever they are--have twenty five billion dollars of our money--in fact, they get twenty five billion every year--and since we are working so hard at not allowing them to deposit the money they must be backed up--they may have 50, or 200 billion dollars, of our money they literally can't get rid of.

What a problem.  I wish I had such a problem.  Is this a joke?  Am I dreaming?  Am I making this up.  No.  Read The New Yorker, August 15, 1994: “Colombian Gold” by Frederic Dannen.  I couldn't make such stunning figures up.  No one would believe me.

 

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